Dear Funcom

How many applications have you read so far? Are you getting tired of the same old lines? Age/sex/location. Education? Yes I have that! Who doesn't in this day and age? Academics are a dime a dozen, and lets be honest, most students spent their time at the university drinking anyway. I did, you did, yet here we are. You don't want papers, you want social skills. You want flare. And most of all, you want a friend.

Someone with a sense of humor. Who can brighten up the office and bring cookies on a rainy Friday, who sends you funny links just before lunch and tells inappropriate jokes by the water cooler. The guy who turns the company into a place that's better then your own home, and before you know it you're telling your wife you will be working overtime when in reality you're racing office chairs down the hallway. The winner gets his name on the hall of fame. Screw employee of the month.

All this is within your grasp. You can always tell your boss I wrote a nice and formal cover letter. It will be our little secret, and I'll cover for you when that cute new intern pulls you away at the christmas party.

Because that's just the kind of guy I am.

Sincerely,

Frank